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To fund elite sports, or not to fund elite sports quite as much (because really, we fund them a lot as it is)

John Coates, president of the right honourable Australian Olympic Committee (A.O.C.), has attacked Minister for Sport and Youth and all that is good, Kate ‘Silver Lining’ Ellis (whoa, hold up, not in that way) after the release of the Crawford Report, which recommended Australia abandon its goal to be a top-five nation at the Olympic games. Coates has publicly lambasted the report, arguing that the Olympics are crucial for Australia’s global standing and that it is ‘un-Australian’ to settle for second best. He also questioned whether Ms. Ellis is taking the issue of sport funding seriously, making some light of her arm-wrestling Hulk Hogan outside Parliament.

And so, being serious but not too serious for the final time, Left, Right, and Centre attempted to dissect the issue, extrapolating it to all elite sport within Australia, asking whether it’s important – and even good for our health.

The freaks, the real losers… the issues that LRC missed

Oh, we had dreams, you know. Grand plans to make this a student radio program the likes of which had never been seen before. And for the most part, we met with resounding success. But of course, certain topics fell by the proverbial wayside. So we gave ourselves an opportunity to pick up the slack and get to the bottom of several burning and not so burning issues:

Bestiality

Rice cream

Kissing cousins

Lily Allen

Sandpaper

Corporate FAT CATS

Spongebob Squarepants

Flavoured condoms

Monkeys

Bill of Rights

The Fifth Amendment

Animal Clothing

Legalised gambling

Vampirism

Head Lice

Auto-fellatio

Mateo

Tim

There you go. Strong focus on the exploration of non-standard issues HA!

Rapid Fire News

Never to be repeated (well, it will be in inferior forms on Blue Money Jazz, Gus and Miles, and Illuminati – programs worth listening to, just don’t expect LRC quality).

The robber ‘too ugly’ for a life of crime

600km trip to get the newspapers

MP apologises for insulting rival on Twitter

Trapped thief drops trousers in bungled burglary

Judge takes day off to play Modern Warfare 2

Boy dials 911 after parents take away his XBox

Cat rescue earns keeper a booking

Suspended sentence for ‘Robin Hood banker’

Indeed.

Gameshow

Consisted exclusively of questions that Chris did not have to do anything to ‘answer’ correctly. So good on him. Tim had a bit of rant, which was fun.

Music

For the final time, we heard:

Spelling Bee Girl, by LRC favourites Man Bites God.

We Will All Go Together When We Go, by overly pessimistic Tom Lehrer.

Whip It, by Devo. Twice! There was mass in-studio dancing.

And Stuck In The Middle With You, by Stealers Wheel.

And, really, that was that. Fun was had, prizes weren’t given away, kudos were not received, subscriber calls were forgotten, contributors remained anonymous, hosts were spoken over, technical mishaps occurred, language warnings were forgotten to collective horror. It all happened, because that’s what student radio is about. Fun, experience, and meeting cool people. And for those reasons, Left, Right, and Centre in 2010 was a fucking blast. Thanks all.

Casey, Chris, Mateo and Timothy signing off.

The future is uncertain but what is clear is that Lewin and Bryce won’t be returning in 2010 (though you probably weren’t wondering that.)

So we wrapped it all up with an interview with Jaryd from Skintilla and had our 2009, thusly listed!

Best Cover of 2009: Lewin chose Single Ladies by the Pigs and completely failed to play a Katy Perry cover as a joke. Bryce chose Truth Corroded covering Double Dragon’s Like Nails, and like, yeaaaaah.

Best Looking Album Sent In To Us This Year: Attack of the Jackards (in Terrorscope!) , by The Jackards from Perth sent us an awesome album with a dinosaur on it!

Best song/Best Album: Lewin predictably chose Children Collide’s album The Long Now, and picked Marie Marie Pt 2 as his best song of 2009.

Best Gimmick: Bryce picked local facial-hair farmers The Beards, playing their track No Beard, No Good. I picked The Scare, with their lead vocalist’s semen-stained T-shirt, confirming that he is indeed, a wanker. (Nah seriously dude, you’re probably a really nice guy, but like, get it? Wanker? Cum stains? Yeah. Had to go there. Sorry.) Bryce claims it may have been inadvertant, but nobody rocks up on stage with a black shirt with white stains inadvertandly. The German army didn’t just go out for a stroll and find the Polish border and think that it might be nice to see what the Poles were up to. It was planned, I tell ya.

Best New Artist of 2009: Lewin, egotistical as he is, under the name My Dreams Left Destroyed, played one of his own tracks, This Bloody Mess. Bryce, however, couldn’t resist the chance for revenge for every Katy Perry song I ever played. The conspiracy goes all the way to the top… or as high as the show after ours, anyway, with Left, Right, and Centre panelists planning my demise. Bryce played Every Hole Sewn Shut by his own band, Splattergasm, and picked Defamer as his own best new artist of 2009.

Best Local Release: Arcadia, for Bryce, and The Touch for me, with their song Froth Party.

Top International/Interstate gig: Lewin chose Children Collide, AGAIN, but played Veins of Truth or something by Moredhel who he saw in “2009″. Bryce, who’d actually seen some more bands, chose Aborted at the Summer Slaughter Fest and played their track, Meticulous Invagination.

Top Local Gig: Bryce chose Against the Grain V, Lewin chose local indie upstart The Aves. No tracks were played cuz, seriously, how much can you fit in an hour?

Worst Band Name: Lewin expressed exasperation at Bryce’s choice to play Cuntscrape 5 minutes into the first show, while Bryce considered 30H!3 to be preposterous.

Worst Month: Lewin just thought November was kinda shit.

Oh, yeah. And Jaryd talked about Skintilla, who definitely plan to come up with a new album.

They’re playing two gigs at least, next year -

 16th January, Higher Ground, “Theatre of Metal”

and

Sometime in January, in Queensland, somewhere

…oh, and also

Saturday, February 20th, Bridgeway Hotel with RCW Wrestling.

And yeah, so liek… we’re done for the year. We had fun. We know that at least four people have listened to our show, based on phone calls, and so we think that it’s great that people thought we were half-decent enough to listen to! We’re gonna miss being able to tell people we’re on radio and brag about our panelling skills and how random Perth bands keep sending us CDs.

It’s been great Adelaide.

Goodbye,

Lewin and Bryce.

xoxoxo

LOLBAI!

Schools unite against ranking website!!

The Rudd government has a dream. That dream? To provide good quality education, and to make it available to all. Pretty good, right? Maybe not worth a revolution, but a good idea nonetheless. So will that goal be helped by their plans to publish comprehensive school testing results online? The government wants the program, called “myschool” (hmm), to be operational by next year, but critics are concerned it will create school league tables by proxy. The government rejects this in no uncertain terms and insists that the program will give parents the most comprehensive education information available. The plan is to also publish demographic statistics, such as student and teacher numbers, as well as attendance rates.

However, there is no small level of consternation when it comes to the government’s use of N.A.P.L.A.N. (national assessment of literacy and numeracy) testing information to compare schools with similar student bodies. The company that created the N.A.P.L.A.N. test has declared repeatedly that the tests are not designed for such a rivalrous purpose, instead insisting they are meant to compare the achievements of individual students against national standards and against students in other states and countries.

So we went around the panel (remember, 3 this week and not 4) and asked will this further turn the education sector into a competitive one? Will it exacerbate existing inequalities, even between state schools? Should the information be published, and if so, should it instead be used for other purposes? Are parents actually being given new information? Et cetera.

Restaurants rail against critical critic!!

Food critic and MasterChef host (the veracity of one of these two things is in question) Matthew Evans is being sued for defamation. Why, you ask? Well, let us tell you. It was because of a stinging review he wrote about Coco Roco restaurant in Sydney (seriously, with a name like that…) that closed down 6 months later, allegedly in part due to the review. The September 2003 review, published in the Sydney Mornign Herald, which is also being sued, called the dishes “unpalatable” and the overall value a “shocker”, eventually ranking it a 9/20, in the “stay home” category. The restaurant closed in March 2004.

Under cross-examination in the NSW Supreme Court, Evans said that while he believed a bad review could have some negative impact on a restaurant, it cannot in and of itself cause its demise. Evans still stands by his opinion that “most restaurants in this country still serve crap food”, and that while he tried to remain objective, his opinions were, by definition, subjective. The article has already been found to contain 3 defamatory meanings.

So Emmanuel put on his law student hat, and naturally there followed a discussion about what are the limits of legitimate criticism, and at what point it becomes harmful to others. There is also the question of whether Evans was at least partially responsible for the failure of Coco Roco (seriously…), and the problems of establishing truth from subjectivity. Because it’s not defamation if it’s true.

Rapid Fire News (for the penultimate time… *tears up*)

Respect: Putin goes gangsta at rap contest

Spanish ‘self love’ lessons row

Noisy British lover loses sex appeal

‘Unfriend’ is word of the year (N.B. – Tim seems to say that only the U.K. Oxford English Dictionary is inarguable. To that, we say ‘bollocks’ and ‘pish posh’)

School library books returned – 51 years late

1.5lb of nails removed from stomach of human ‘hardware store’ (good God)

Woman passes driving test after 950 tries

Women tricked into sex by ‘medical condition’ man

How amusingly smutty.

Tunes

Let’s Go Surfing, by Florida beachcombers the Drums.

Marrow, by St. Vincent the automaton.

Welcome to Jamrock, a little diversity brought to us by Emmanuel and Damien Marley.

Oxford Comma, by decidedly middle-class Vampire Weekend.

And to finish off, Slow Dance by John Legend.

Gameshow

Nup.

So that was that! What fun we have. Big ups to Emmanuel for joining us, and to Casey and Tim for not. We’ll be back next week, for the final time, but in the mean time, don’t forget to subscribe, as well as check out the amazing stuff on offer at the yearly RadAd C.D. and book sale, on Friday December 4 (doors open at 10am). So come down to the station at 228 North Terrace for some bargains, some fun, and the chance to meet your Left, Right, and Centre idols. Oh, we also asked what we would do with AU$452 million. Well?

Peace, dudes. Keep it real.

So yeah, next week there will be probably our greatest giveaway ever, or at least second best. It’ll be fair cool. (Y)

We’re gonna be playin’ our favourite songs of some kind, and I promise not just to play all Children Collide.

So yeah, here’s the playlist!
New World Revolt – System
Garbage – Only Happy When It Rains
The Loved Ones – Everlovin’ Man
Jebediah – Harpoon
Putrescence – Moonlight Illuminates Limbs Forced Into Impossible Directions
Deathbringer – Deadonator
Obituary – List of Dead
Diatribe – Hate Within
FatGuyRandomMashup, by Lewin (chiptune track was Spontaneous Devotion by Random)
3OH!3 – Don’t Trust Me
Jupiter Zeus – Co-Creators
Repulsion – Radiation Sickness
Weezer – Holiday
Streetlight Manifesto – Watch it Crash (and didn’t it take ages to end!)

Annnnnd the gig guide!!!!
Thursday, November 19th
Hanzel und Greyl (US), Octanic, Quest
Live on Light Square

Friday, November 20th
Obsidian Aspect, Mammoth, Troops of Doom (Sepultura cover band)
Shotz (Pirie st), 8:30pm, $8, 18+
Confession (CDL), Nazarite Vow, Remassacre, No Way Out, Jack the Giant Killer
Fowler’s Live, 7pm, $12, Lic A/A
7pm: Pink Bits art exhibition; 9pm: Taunt, Nessun Dorma
Worldsend Hotel, Free

Saturday, November 21st
Obituary (US), Double Dragon, Mammoth
The Gov, 7:30pm, 18+, ~ $60
Five Finger Disintegrator, Nessun Dorma, Orphans of the Sky, On the Day of My Disaster, A Dead Silence
Uni Bar, 7pm, $12, Lic A/A

Wednesday, November 25th
The Acacia Strain, The Red Shore
The Underground

Thursday, November 26th
Strength Approach (Italy), Mark my Words (NSW), Armoury
Cranker

Friday, November 27th: The War Room
Earth (Vic, CDL), Lanstrumvirus, ISaw, Mammoth
Enigma Bar, 8:30, $12, 18+
Kamikaze, more TBA
Squatter’s Arms, Lic A/A
Lightning Bolt (US), Robotosaurus (pulled out?), Grey Daturas, My Disco
Fowler’s Live, 7pm, $30+, Lic A/A

Saturday, November 28th
The Trace Vapour, Blood Covered Shovel, Trio
Squatter’s Arms, 9pm, Free, A/A
Double Dragon, Matterhorn (cover band), Troops of Doom (Sepultura cover band)
House of SAP (17 McGowan St, Pooraka), 6pm, $10, Lic A/A
Cry Murder (last show?) + more TBA
Fowler’s Live, A/A
The Storm, Picturesque (NSW), Remassacre
The Underground, 7pm, A/A

COMING UP FURTHER AWAY
December 9th: Dream Theatre (US)
December 16th: Lamb of God (US), Devildriver (US) and Shadows Fall (US)
December 26th: Summer Rage Fest

Now it’s late and I wanna get to bed and have a snack (not in that order, that’d leave terrible crumbs, oh god) so I’ll see you next week. Seriously, unless you’re like seriously busy with some really serious shit and friends and shit, listen in and shit at 11PM shit next shit Tuesday shit shit. Shit.

Loving being on the radio,
Lewin <3
Shit

oh and checkout the shit podcast shit at http://breakitdown.podomatic.com

Edit: Here’s an explanation for the crazy multi-studio antics on Tuesday. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CPw1o1mm2s

Chk Chk BOOM and politics in the same sentence?

In news that perhaps that doesn’t come as much of a surprise, Clare Werbeloff, the ‘celebrity’ who introduced the term ‘Chk Chk BOOM!’ into Australian hearts and minds, has been asked by “lads’ mag” (some euphemism) Zoo Weekly to stand for the N.S.W. seat of Bradfield, known to some as the seat of former Liberal leader, Dr. Brendan Nelson. A by-election for the seat will be held on December 5 (just 3 days before Mateo’s birthday, YAY!) but Werebeloff, much like Warwick Capper earlier in the year, won’t be contesting. However, unlike Capper, Werbeloff’s non-participation won’t be the result of a forgetting to register before the electoral deadline. Rather, says the woman herself, “I don’t think the time is right for me step into that arena”. Aww. Keep trying, Zoo!

The Death Penalty debate

The catalyst for this somewhat heated discussion was the recent execution of John Allen Muhammad, chief perpetrator of the frankly terrifying Washington sniper attacks in 2002. Public support for the death penalty in Australia has long been somewhat ambiguous and both major political parties oppose it, the issue is more complex (and arguably more emotive) in the United States, where it is mandated by the states, not federally. The team went through arguments for and against the death penalty, with Chris and Tim playing devil’s advocate(s) to Casey and Mateo.

P.S.: hideous bias with no pretensions to impartiality. It’s bad, kids.

Media moguls gone wild!!

Global media overlord and all-around nice guy Rupert Murdoch has a plan. One which seems silly at first glance, but then presumably he didn’t get to using gold bars as paperweights by making silly plans. Rupert is unhappy with Google – perhaps the only media company more powerful than his, and certainly the only sandal-wearers in the world more powerful than him (unless the Dalai Lama wears sandals) – because he thinks they’re stealing what’s rightfully his. In response, Rupie has made it clear that he has intentions to block the search engine from listing his company’s content “when we [News Corp] start charging”.

Defending his intentions, Ol’ Rupe said, “it costs us a lot of money to put together good newspapers and good content” (then surely they aren’t paying much…? OH NO YOU DI-EN’T). Although the News Corp-owned Wall Street Journal already has in place a user-pays subscription model, Rupie Rupe said last week that his goal of erecting pay walls around his media empire by next June are being delayed by “everything”.

Rupert ‘Danger’ Murdoch also believes that fair use is illegal and that the right court case could strike it down. Um, ok, R. So, as is their wont, the LRC boffins knocked heads and asked: folly or foible?

The Rapidest Firing News this side of stories about gun violence

Drunk clown nabbed after crash

Cannonball through house

Wheelchair user, 92, arrested for smuggling coke

Library complains of crossed-out curses

Customs nab man with pythons taped to body in Norway

Brazil man appears at own funeral

Man dressed as breathalyser arrested for drink-driving

Baguette dropped from bird’s beak shuts down the Large Hadron Collider (really)

Prizes!

Yes, this week we gave away a mug, with monochrome pictures of two cats on. With handle and everything! Oh, and could someone please take the 25 litre bag of potting mix from the station? We don’t know what to do with it.

Songs

There were some. Namely:

Your Forget So Easily, by great unsigned U.K. band Exlovers.

We Used To Vacation, by the Cold War Kids.

A Little Soul, by Pulp, who just can’t fit shoes that fit.

What’s Going On, by Marvin Gaye (legend).

That was all! The blog never quite recaptures the magic of the live show, so be sure to tune in at midnight on Tuesdays/Wednesdays. Only on Radio Adelaide, 101.5fm.

And subscribe, suckers.

We gave away candy to a lucky guy and some awesome Lewin, Evan and Ashley memorabilia.

Check out the playlist, yo:
Okay so I put the studio notes in the prize and now I can’t remember what we played and I’m too lazy to look it up, oh wait hang on… yeah it’s on my flash drive. Here we go.
The Coral – Dreaming of You
The Ataris – Boys of Summer
Machine Gun Fellatio – Unsent Letter
Say Anything – Alive With The Glory of Love
Kong – Leather Penny
Lotosoma – II Fast II Stop
Children Collide – Marie Marie Pt 2
AFI – Love Like Winter
Brand New – Magazines
Grinspoon – Chemical Heart
The Thermals – Pillar of Salt
U2 – With or Without You

Massive solidarity to the student armies taking massive losses on the battlefields we call exams.

And don’t forget! Tackleball tomorrow at Victoria Square, 2PM! Design and wear your very own Tackle Tee Shirt and win prizes! Shout “IT’S TACKLE TIME!” on arrival to meet the other tacklers.

So yeah, catch y’all later! Listen to Lewin on his own show, next Tuesday at 11, and see Gus and Miles triumphantly return next week.

Yours in passing,
Lewin
BAI!
/-<
\-<

Okay that’s a lie his hair is REALLY clean.

We played some songs and you’re here because you want to know which ones.
Playlist:
Brand New – The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
The Thermals – Goddamn the Light
Alexisonfire – Accidents
Silverchair – Ana’s Song (Open Fire)
Scare City – Don’t Let The Colour In My Cheeks Fool You (I’ve Been Holding My Breath Since Last Year)
Homebrewe – Best Thing
AFI – Girls Not Grey
Linkin Park – crawling
The Killers – Mr. Brightside
Goldfinger – Miles Away
Streetlight Manifesto – The Big Sleep
The Matches – Chain Me Free
3OH!3 – Starstrukk (feat. Katy Perry)

And the gig guide isn’t here because we honestly don’t know any shit about it at all. Go to Soundwave though!

Bai!
Lewin!

What makes a Christmas card?

Is, not at all coincidentally, what a recent Senate estimates hearing (the best cure for insomnia since Kid A) pondered when the government tried to divine what makes a Christmas card just so. This all stemmed from the Rudd government’s plans to tighten their collective, metaphorical belts and slash MP printing allowances, much to the chagrin of some. As it stands, all material produced and/or distributed by MPs must have the disclaimer ‘This material has been produced at Australian Government expense by [name of MP]’. However, the relevant Department (I don’t know which one, precisely – Department of Cardiography?) doesn’t actually know how to interpret the ‘every page’ requirement for folded paper (one page or two?). Yes. Handbags.

Marijuana, or how the British Government learned to stop worrying and sacked their chief drugs adviser

Ahem… marijuana, snop, Manhattan silver, pretendica, reefer, assassin of youth, zig zag man, wacky terbacky, A-bomb, Panama cut, dew, Christmas tree, rainy day woman, kumba, geek, Fortune 500, four twenty, hubbly bubbly, leaf, atshitshi, loaf, Pakistani black, seeds, spliff, speed boat, portion control, Jane, Jim Jones, skunk, Juanita, Aunt Mary, baritone fax, Kentucky blue, righteous bush, doobie/dubbe/duby, potlikker, crazy Eddie, Tijuana, cripple, giggle weed, lovelies, bammy, Gordon Brown, Indian hay, hooch, Indonesian bud, Indiana ditchweed, unwashed potato, sweet Lucy, broccoli, head lice, pocket rocket, professor puff, bazooka, loosey goosey, good giggles, salt and pepper, Milky Way, zombie weed, rockets, Facebook delight, woolly blunts, bobo bush, mooters, ghanja, locoweed, burrito, grass, Tubular Bells, Cubes, funk, yellow submarine, peace weed, white-haired lady, mother, gunney sack, ol’ Mary Jane. And breathe.

To legalise, or not to legalise? That was the question. Also, bonus points for the intrepid readers who spot the made-up names, as well as the landmark 1973 progressive rock album.

Rapid Fire News

Comin’ at’cha.

Man sues Lynx after failing to get girl

MPs face off on Facebook

Wal-Mart starts selling coffins

[Missing 4^th RFN story]

Dumb American criminals attempt robbery with ‘permanent marker pen disguises’

Wildlife officer brings alligator to school, loses it

Mechanic ‘broke cars so he could charge to fix them’

US man stole ferret by shoving in pants: Police

Prizes? Yes, PRIZES!

Proving once and for all, if there was any lingering doubt, that calling in and chatting to us (during a song break, people) is good for your garden, the LRC team decided to award a 25 litre bag of potting mix (Mateo: “that’s pretty heavy”) to the caller who could best explain why they prefer the chrysanthemum to the marigold, or vice versa. So thanks to our caller from the Barossa Valley, who was a better sport than any of us would have been when informed that we’d just won a big bag of dirt.

The Sound of Music

Chris played Smith and Jones Forever, by the inimitable Silver Jews.

Mateo played Accordion; by the collaborative hip-hop genius that is Madvillain.

Casey played Shakeytown, by I Heart Hiroshima, because he loves to boogie.

We played Lean On Me, by the Black Sorrows, because when times are tough…

And Tim played Because I Got High, by Afroman, because, well…

We all got very high, in a strictly metaphorical sense. Anything else would have constituted a grave breach of community radio broadcasting regulations. Apropos nothing, subscribe, all you stinky britches. ‘Til you do, we’re on strike. Just do it.

Laterz, alligators,

The Left, Right, and Centre ‘haterz’

So yeah, playlist? YOU BETCHA!

New Found Glory – Truck Stop Blues
Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit
Daddy Cool – Hi Honey Ho
The Loved Ones – The Loverly Car
Spoon – The Underdog
Brand New – Jaws Theme Swimming
Suffocation – Jesus Wept
Gold Kids – Winter 365 Days A Year
Styx – I Am The Walrus (Beatles Cover)
Cathedral – Fire (Arthur Brown cover)
Circle Takes the Square – Houdini Logic
Trash80 – Missing You
Streetlight Manifesto – One Foot On The Gas and One Foot In The Grave

And the giiiiig guide!
Saturday, November 6th
Truth Corroded, Nessun Dorma, Dogs with Bees in their Mouths, A.M.O.C.
Enigma Bar, 9pm, $8, 18+
Gold Kids (Italy), Ghosttown (NSW), Craterface, Jack the Giant Killer
Enigma Bar, 7:30pm, $16, Lic A/A

Sunday, November 7th
The Battery Kids (“Ancient Curse” single launch), Carnation
The Ed Castle

Friday, November 13th
Art in Exile (CDL), In the Burial, Wasted Elegance, Satoria

Saturday, November 14th
The Fuck Machine, Hybrid Illusion, The Rape, Splattergasm, Deathbringer
Northern Sound Systems, 7pm, $10, Lic A/A
Dreadnaught, Skintilla, Se Bon Ki Ra, Insidian, Killing Pigeons
Raiders Football Club, 7pm, $15, Lic A/A
Infiltraitor, Far West Battlefront, Atlanta Takes State, The Nerve
The Underground, 7pm, $10, A/A
Corrupters + more TBA
Squatter’s Arms, Lic A/A

Sunday, November 15th (part of the Feast Festival)
Legless + guests
Higher Ground, 8pm, $12

COMING UP FURTHER AWAY
November 21st: Obituary (US)
November 25th: The Acacia Strain (US)
December 9th: Dream Theatre (US)
December 16th: Lamb of God (US), Devildriver (US) and Shadows Fall (US)
December 26th: Summer Rage Fest