Illuminati – Why does this taste like onion?


Welcome back internet traveler we hope your travels have been fulfilling, but if not, it’s ok, you’ve come to the right place!

This week Illuminati missed Bad Thursday and slid right on in there to Good Friday, that is; Friday April 10th and what a show it was. Madison and Gemma tackled a myriad of poignant questions facing the youth and the not-so-youth of today including – Homes, should they walk? Sperm, is it a product? Pen-clicking, is it linear? Masturbation, is it a cure? Eating, should you do it while walking? and Vorn Doolette, is he great?

Homes, should they walk?

Madison brought us the Walking House as a part of ‘How is That Useful?’ this week, and you have to admit you’re impressed.  The walking house is pretty exciting if a little tiny (3.5 x 3.5 x 3.72 meters), it’s entirely self-contained and supposedly fully furnished (your hosts disagree). Very green – it’s got solar panels and windmills and sorry did we mention…. It Walks! They can even be stacked to make some sort of human hive – very sci-fi. So in answer to the question, the clever people at N55 in conjunction with Madison and Gemma say; Yes!

...not quite furnished.
…not quite furnished.

and you can stack them! Human Hive!
and you can stack them! Human Hive!

Sperm, is it a product?

This question made it to us through ‘Science That Makes Me Angry’ a new and possible one-time segment. Essentially there is a girl in New York, her name is Brittany Donovan, she is 13, and unfortunately has Fragile X Syndrome, she is a result of IVF and she is suing the sperm bank that ‘provided her with a biological father’.  “Suing?” you say, “Surely not, that’s absurd!” and in reply I say “Yes,she is and yes,  I know it’s absurd”. She doesn’t even have to prove the sperm bank was negligent, just that the product provided caused injury. Injury? Like being born? She would not be alive to make the case if it were not for that sperm.  So in answer to this question, No, in this case sperm is not a product.

‘Factually Spurious’ took a slight detour this week to look at two dubious suggestions that have emerged from the scientific community.

1) Pen-clicking, is it linear?

One bright spark has suggested that there is a “direct linear correlation between the frequency and intensity of pen clicking, and the overall stress level on the ward”. How does he back up this enthusiastic claim? With anecdotal evidence, of course; “I once saw a nurse standing outside a room telling a doctor about her deteriorating patient. He was just standing there silently listening as her pen reflected her obvious concern with a staccato of morse code. Then, as he walked away, his pen was clicking. She had infected him.” Very scientific indeed.

2) Masturbation, is it a cure?

Then we had a look at a new ‘cure’ for hay fever that has been suggested by a neurologist in Iran. The cure? Masturbation. He has put some thought into it, the nasal passage and the genitals are connected via the sympathetic nervous system, but what really stood out in this article is the fact that “he hasn’t yet performed clinical trials to test the hypothesis”, so this is just wild speculation? Yes.

Eating, should you do it while walking?

‘Quote Unquote’ came from Jennifer (Madison’s mother) this week with the stunning line; “Don’t eat and walk, it’s un-lady like”. Context? Madison was walking while eating a piece of toast.  To be honest it is a slippery slide one minute you’re walking while eating a piece of toast because you’re late, the next you’re injecting heroin right into your eyeballs…and the eyeballs of passing strangers.

Vorn Doolette, is he great?

Yes he is. which is why we played ‘Orange Dress’ the first track off his latest album.

We Also Played:

‘Rome & Juliet’ from Dire Straits, and oldie but a goodie.

‘Arms Around Me’ from Jens Leckmen because we wish he was holding our collective hands.

‘Misread’ from Kings of Convenience, royalty I can agree with.

‘Wrote It All Down In My Diary’ from Adelaide band We Grow Up, Gem’s new favourite.

‘Folsom Prison Blues’ from Johnny Cash because we all like a bit of a corner-stomp from time to time.

‘People Need People’ from the charming Little Stevies because it’s true.

‘Australianisms’ and ‘The Ghost In The Park’ a story and a poem respectively from Brad Lee.

Happy Easter, Safe Travels and Love from Illuminati.


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