Left, Right, and Centre: Episode 33 – “In our opinion, and not only our opinion, inferior to no one”


The merry men of Left, Right, and Centre returned for more radio hijinks this past week, deciding to, as always, tackle the pressing issues of the past week. This time around, the unendingly hilarious cases of Barack Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize victory and Silvio Berlusconi in general were aired, making for, as Casey put it, ‘infotainment’. We are generally uncomfortable with that idea, but much more at ease with the prospect of juicy discussion, dry Rapid Fire News, sour Gameshow, and sweet music.


Every man and his dog (and sometimes even his woman) has decided to weigh in on Barack Obama’s historic Nobel Peace Prize victory, with reactions ranging from “I don’t see what he’s done to deserve this”, to “I think the Nobel Committee is risking its credibility” to “Vell, Barack’s just zis guy, you know…?”. The third one of these was a Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference and not, it is believed, an actual reaction to what has been a hugely controversial announcement.

The Nobel Committee awarded it to President Obama for his ‘extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples’. All well and good, until you translate this into layman’s English and realise it doesn’t mean much. Especially when considering the nominations closed about 2 weeks after Obama’s inauguration, and it doesn’t leave much time for… you know, actually doing the things people tend to win this award for. Some cynics have commented that Obama has won the award for the reasons of potential, or simply not being George W. Bush. What has also been commented on is the opportunity presented to those damn bleedin’ heart liberals (they’re European too, did ya know that?) to award the new administration their seal of approval. Reaction in the U.S. has been mixed, to say the least.


Silvio Berlusconi, the most baffling world leader around

This wasn’t a particularly deep discussion about the ramifications of the Italian Supreme Court’s decision to overturn the ruling preventing Mr. Berlusconi from facing numerous allegations against him. More a quote fest on the 3-time Prime Minister, entrepreneur, songwriter, football team owner, scourge of leftists (and reality), and (alleged) lothario, who self-identifies as “[in absolute terms] the most legally persecuted man of all times, in the whole history of mankind, worldwide”. Some choice quotes:

  • “I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out”.
  • “Mussolini never killed anyone, he just sent dissenters abroad for vacation”.
  • [On Italians attempting to escape poverty] “Just do it my way and earn more money”.
  • “I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I am a patient victim, I sacrifice myself for everyone”.
  • “I am, and not only in my opinion, the best Prime Minister who could be found today… I believe there is no one in history to whom I should feel inferior. Quite the opposite”.
  • “Go and read the Black Book of Communism and you’ll find that under Mao’s China they didn’t eat babies but they boiled them to fertilise the fields”.
  • When the above was discovered to be untrue, Mr. Berlusconi claimed he was “unable to restrain himself”. Phew, that’s alright then.

What a man. Certainly without equal.


Rapid Fire News – new and improved!!

Dallas police seek pudgy naked backyard dancer

‘Evil spells are being cast on Parliament’

Tennessee woman arrested for Facebook ‘poke’

Ninja wants to beat up senator, gets arrested

Train drags German mooner half naked along tracks


Victorian Premier says midget racing hurtful to small people, or, how Mateo lost his shit on radio

Alabama woman lets daughter ride in box on top of van

Actually, it’s neither new nor improved. But hey, it’s still ‘pretty good’.



Was good; Mateo won without doing anything as Tim and Chris said ‘O.E.D.’ during the show, eliminating them. Mateo may also have said it, but after the two losers.


Songs (from a room)

The Kickouts, with I’ll See You There, from their self-titled EP.

Eagles, with Take It Easy.

Everything Everything (unsigned U.K. band), with a My Keys, Your Boyfriend/Hot and Cold (v.s. Katy Perry) – also, damn you, Lewin of Break it Down fame.

Okkervil River, playing Our Life Is Not a Movie or Maybe.

Joy Division, with their uplifting ditty Love Will Tear Us Apart (Chris wanted to play Atmosphere, but Casey was all like, ‘nuh-uh’).


And that’s that! Don’t forget to subscribe to Radio Adelaide; possibly the best tax-deductible $26/$52 you’ll spend all year.

But for now, it’s see ya later, alligator(s)

– The Left, Right, and Centre solution


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