Left, Right, and Centre: Episode 36 – Going Potty


The green, environmentally friendly thumbs of the Left, Right, and Centre force/blitz returned for another Shocking hour of discussion and humour of questionable quality. But, hey, the songs were great! On the latest serving: Christmas cards, weed, the LRC mystery contributor, and… potting mix? Possibly. Oh, and Rapid Fire News.

What makes a Christmas card?

Is, not at all coincidentally, what a recent Senate estimates hearing (the best cure for insomnia since Kid A) pondered when the government tried to divine what makes a Christmas card just so. This all stemmed from the Rudd government’s plans to tighten their collective, metaphorical belts and slash MP printing allowances, much to the chagrin of some. As it stands, all material produced and/or distributed by MPs must have the disclaimer ‘This material has been produced at Australian Government expense by [name of MP]’. However, the relevant Department (I don’t know which one, precisely – Department of Cardiography?) doesn’t actually know how to interpret the ‘every page’ requirement for folded paper (one page or two?). Yes. Handbags.

Marijuana, or how the British Government learned to stop worrying and sacked their chief drugs adviser

Ahem… marijuana, snop, Manhattan silver, pretendica, reefer, assassin of youth, zig zag man, wacky terbacky, A-bomb, Panama cut, dew, Christmas tree, rainy day woman, kumba, geek, Fortune 500, four twenty, hubbly bubbly, leaf, atshitshi, loaf, Pakistani black, seeds, spliff, speed boat, portion control, Jane, Jim Jones, skunk, Juanita, Aunt Mary, baritone fax, Kentucky blue, righteous bush, doobie/dubbe/duby, potlikker, crazy Eddie, Tijuana, cripple, giggle weed, lovelies, bammy, Gordon Brown, Indian hay, hooch, Indonesian bud, Indiana ditchweed, unwashed potato, sweet Lucy, broccoli, head lice, pocket rocket, professor puff, bazooka, loosey goosey, good giggles, salt and pepper, Milky Way, zombie weed, rockets, Facebook delight, woolly blunts, bobo bush, mooters, ghanja, locoweed, burrito, grass, Tubular Bells, Cubes, funk, yellow submarine, peace weed, white-haired lady, mother, gunney sack, ol’ Mary Jane. And breathe.

To legalise, or not to legalise? That was the question. Also, bonus points for the intrepid readers who spot the made-up names, as well as the landmark 1973 progressive rock album.

Rapid Fire News

Comin’ at’cha.

Man sues Lynx after failing to get girl

MPs face off on Facebook

Wal-Mart starts selling coffins

[Missing 4th RFN story]

Dumb American criminals attempt robbery with ‘permanent marker pen disguises’

Wildlife officer brings alligator to school, loses it

Mechanic ‘broke cars so he could charge to fix them’

US man stole ferret by shoving in pants: Police

Prizes? Yes, PRIZES!

Proving once and for all, if there was any lingering doubt, that calling in and chatting to us (during a song break, people) is good for your garden, the LRC team decided to award a 25 litre bag of potting mix (Mateo: “that’s pretty heavy”) to the caller who could best explain why they prefer the chrysanthemum to the marigold, or vice versa. So thanks to our caller from the Barossa Valley, who was a better sport than any of us would have been when informed that we’d just won a big bag of dirt.

The Sound of Music

Chris played Smith and Jones Forever, by the inimitable Silver Jews.

Mateo played Accordion; by the collaborative hip-hop genius that is Madvillain.

Casey played Shakeytown, by I Heart Hiroshima, because he loves to boogie.

We played Lean On Me, by the Black Sorrows, because when times are tough…

And Tim played Because I Got High, by Afroman, because, well…

We all got very high, in a strictly metaphorical sense. Anything else would have constituted a grave breach of community radio broadcasting regulations. Apropos nothing, subscribe, all you stinky britches. ‘Til you do, we’re on strike. Just do it.

Laterz, alligators,

The Left, Right, and Centre ‘haterz’


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