Left, Right, and Centre: Episode 39 – The lads sign off.

25Nov09

The good ship Left, Right, and Centre made its final boarding call this week. “NO!” you cry. “Actually, yeah” say Adelaide University Student Radio. But you know, maybe it’s ok. Maybe we’ll be strong, and there’ll be no tears. Maybe our lips won’t quiver, and we’ll wake up and resume our little lives. Or maybe not. Whilst none of the Left, Right, and Centre hosts would admit to taking the show so seriously, we would all admit to squeezing the most sympathy we can from any situation. On the final show: Rapid Fire News! Music! Gameshow… and some of the most awkward banter anyone could possibly imagine. Yes!

To fund elite sports, or not to fund elite sports quite as much (because really, we fund them a lot as it is)

John Coates, president of the right honourable Australian Olympic Committee (A.O.C.), has attacked Minister for Sport and Youth and all that is good, Kate ‘Silver Lining’ Ellis (whoa, hold up, not in that way) after the release of the Crawford Report, which recommended Australia abandon its goal to be a top-five nation at the Olympic games. Coates has publicly lambasted the report, arguing that the Olympics are crucial for Australia’s global standing and that it is ‘un-Australian’ to settle for second best. He also questioned whether Ms. Ellis is taking the issue of sport funding seriously, making some light of her arm-wrestling Hulk Hogan outside Parliament.

And so, being serious but not too serious for the final time, Left, Right, and Centre attempted to dissect the issue, extrapolating it to all elite sport within Australia, asking whether it’s important – and even good for our health.

The freaks, the real losers… the issues that LRC missed

Oh, we had dreams, you know. Grand plans to make this a student radio program the likes of which had never been seen before. And for the most part, we met with resounding success. But of course, certain topics fell by the proverbial wayside. So we gave ourselves an opportunity to pick up the slack and get to the bottom of several burning and not so burning issues:

Bestiality

Rice cream

Kissing cousins

Lily Allen

Sandpaper

Corporate FAT CATS

Spongebob Squarepants

Flavoured condoms

Monkeys

Bill of Rights

The Fifth Amendment

Animal Clothing

Legalised gambling

Vampirism

Head Lice

Auto-fellatio

Mateo

Tim

There you go. Strong focus on the exploration of non-standard issues HA!

Rapid Fire News

Never to be repeated (well, it will be in inferior forms on Blue Money Jazz, Gus and Miles, and Illuminati – programs worth listening to, just don’t expect LRC quality).

The robber ‘too ugly’ for a life of crime

600km trip to get the newspapers

MP apologises for insulting rival on Twitter

Trapped thief drops trousers in bungled burglary

Judge takes day off to play Modern Warfare 2

Boy dials 911 after parents take away his XBox

Cat rescue earns keeper a booking

Suspended sentence for ‘Robin Hood banker’

Indeed.

Gameshow

Consisted exclusively of questions that Chris did not have to do anything to ‘answer’ correctly. So good on him. Tim had a bit of rant, which was fun.

Music

For the final time, we heard:

Spelling Bee Girl, by LRC favourites Man Bites God.

We Will All Go Together When We Go, by overly pessimistic Tom Lehrer.

Whip It, by Devo. Twice! There was mass in-studio dancing.

And Stuck In The Middle With You, by Stealers Wheel.

And, really, that was that. Fun was had, prizes weren’t given away, kudos were not received, subscriber calls were forgotten, contributors remained anonymous, hosts were spoken over, technical mishaps occurred, language warnings were forgotten to collective horror. It all happened, because that’s what student radio is about. Fun, experience, and meeting cool people. And for those reasons, Left, Right, and Centre in 2010 was a fucking blast. Thanks all.

Casey, Chris, Mateo and Timothy signing off.

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One Response to “Left, Right, and Centre: Episode 39 – The lads sign off.”

  1. LwMGst Excellent article, I will take note. Many thanks for the story!


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