So I gave Tran a random nickname to fit in around here, while Bryce is in Alaska collecting oil revenue, by selling the grease in his hair.

Okay that’s a lie his hair is REALLY clean.

We played some songs and you’re here because you want to know which ones.
Playlist:
Brand New – The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
The Thermals – Goddamn the Light
Alexisonfire – Accidents
Silverchair – Ana’s Song (Open Fire)
Scare City – Don’t Let The Colour In My Cheeks Fool You (I’ve Been Holding My Breath Since Last Year)
Homebrewe – Best Thing
AFI – Girls Not Grey
Linkin Park – crawling
The Killers – Mr. Brightside
Goldfinger – Miles Away
Streetlight Manifesto – The Big Sleep
The Matches – Chain Me Free
3OH!3 – Starstrukk (feat. Katy Perry)

And the gig guide isn’t here because we honestly don’t know any shit about it at all. Go to Soundwave though! 🙂

Bai!
Lewin!


The green, environmentally friendly thumbs of the Left, Right, and Centre force/blitz returned for another Shocking hour of discussion and humour of questionable quality. But, hey, the songs were great! On the latest serving: Christmas cards, weed, the LRC mystery contributor, and… potting mix? Possibly. Oh, and Rapid Fire News.

What makes a Christmas card?

Is, not at all coincidentally, what a recent Senate estimates hearing (the best cure for insomnia since Kid A) pondered when the government tried to divine what makes a Christmas card just so. This all stemmed from the Rudd government’s plans to tighten their collective, metaphorical belts and slash MP printing allowances, much to the chagrin of some. As it stands, all material produced and/or distributed by MPs must have the disclaimer ‘This material has been produced at Australian Government expense by [name of MP]’. However, the relevant Department (I don’t know which one, precisely – Department of Cardiography?) doesn’t actually know how to interpret the ‘every page’ requirement for folded paper (one page or two?). Yes. Handbags.

Marijuana, or how the British Government learned to stop worrying and sacked their chief drugs adviser

Ahem… marijuana, snop, Manhattan silver, pretendica, reefer, assassin of youth, zig zag man, wacky terbacky, A-bomb, Panama cut, dew, Christmas tree, rainy day woman, kumba, geek, Fortune 500, four twenty, hubbly bubbly, leaf, atshitshi, loaf, Pakistani black, seeds, spliff, speed boat, portion control, Jane, Jim Jones, skunk, Juanita, Aunt Mary, baritone fax, Kentucky blue, righteous bush, doobie/dubbe/duby, potlikker, crazy Eddie, Tijuana, cripple, giggle weed, lovelies, bammy, Gordon Brown, Indian hay, hooch, Indonesian bud, Indiana ditchweed, unwashed potato, sweet Lucy, broccoli, head lice, pocket rocket, professor puff, bazooka, loosey goosey, good giggles, salt and pepper, Milky Way, zombie weed, rockets, Facebook delight, woolly blunts, bobo bush, mooters, ghanja, locoweed, burrito, grass, Tubular Bells, Cubes, funk, yellow submarine, peace weed, white-haired lady, mother, gunney sack, ol’ Mary Jane. And breathe.

To legalise, or not to legalise? That was the question. Also, bonus points for the intrepid readers who spot the made-up names, as well as the landmark 1973 progressive rock album.

Rapid Fire News

Comin’ at’cha.

Man sues Lynx after failing to get girl

MPs face off on Facebook

Wal-Mart starts selling coffins

[Missing 4th RFN story]

Dumb American criminals attempt robbery with ‘permanent marker pen disguises’

Wildlife officer brings alligator to school, loses it

Mechanic ‘broke cars so he could charge to fix them’

US man stole ferret by shoving in pants: Police

Prizes? Yes, PRIZES!

Proving once and for all, if there was any lingering doubt, that calling in and chatting to us (during a song break, people) is good for your garden, the LRC team decided to award a 25 litre bag of potting mix (Mateo: “that’s pretty heavy”) to the caller who could best explain why they prefer the chrysanthemum to the marigold, or vice versa. So thanks to our caller from the Barossa Valley, who was a better sport than any of us would have been when informed that we’d just won a big bag of dirt.

The Sound of Music

Chris played Smith and Jones Forever, by the inimitable Silver Jews.

Mateo played Accordion; by the collaborative hip-hop genius that is Madvillain.

Casey played Shakeytown, by I Heart Hiroshima, because he loves to boogie.

We played Lean On Me, by the Black Sorrows, because when times are tough…

And Tim played Because I Got High, by Afroman, because, well…

We all got very high, in a strictly metaphorical sense. Anything else would have constituted a grave breach of community radio broadcasting regulations. Apropos nothing, subscribe, all you stinky britches. ‘Til you do, we’re on strike. Just do it.

Laterz, alligators,

The Left, Right, and Centre ‘haterz’


SO WE PLAYED ROCKY SONGS! WITH ROCKS! Rocs rock!

So yeah, playlist? YOU BETCHA!

New Found Glory – Truck Stop Blues
Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit
Daddy Cool – Hi Honey Ho
The Loved Ones – The Loverly Car
Spoon – The Underdog
Brand New – Jaws Theme Swimming
Suffocation – Jesus Wept
Gold Kids – Winter 365 Days A Year
Styx – I Am The Walrus (Beatles Cover)
Cathedral – Fire (Arthur Brown cover)
Circle Takes the Square – Houdini Logic
Trash80 – Missing You
Streetlight Manifesto – One Foot On The Gas and One Foot In The Grave

And the giiiiig guide!
Saturday, November 6th
Truth Corroded, Nessun Dorma, Dogs with Bees in their Mouths, A.M.O.C.
Enigma Bar, 9pm, $8, 18+
Gold Kids (Italy), Ghosttown (NSW), Craterface, Jack the Giant Killer
Enigma Bar, 7:30pm, $16, Lic A/A

Sunday, November 7th
The Battery Kids (“Ancient Curse” single launch), Carnation
The Ed Castle

Friday, November 13th
Art in Exile (CDL), In the Burial, Wasted Elegance, Satoria

Saturday, November 14th
The Fuck Machine, Hybrid Illusion, The Rape, Splattergasm, Deathbringer
Northern Sound Systems, 7pm, $10, Lic A/A
Dreadnaught, Skintilla, Se Bon Ki Ra, Insidian, Killing Pigeons
Raiders Football Club, 7pm, $15, Lic A/A
Infiltraitor, Far West Battlefront, Atlanta Takes State, The Nerve
The Underground, 7pm, $10, A/A
Corrupters + more TBA
Squatter’s Arms, Lic A/A

Sunday, November 15th (part of the Feast Festival)
Legless + guests
Higher Ground, 8pm, $12

COMING UP FURTHER AWAY
November 21st: Obituary (US)
November 25th: The Acacia Strain (US)
December 9th: Dream Theatre (US)
December 16th: Lamb of God (US), Devildriver (US) and Shadows Fall (US)
December 26th: Summer Rage Fest


Hello catastrophe waitress! Young ruffians! It’s time to be excited because Left, Right, and Centre is still on the radio waves, but be sad because their time is dwindling. Possibly the best radio hosts in the Southern Hemisphere, Casey, Timothy, Christopher and Mateo tried quite hard to make this week’s show a more pleasant listening experience than the previous week’s, which was besieged with technical and comedic problems. On this week’s show: Fascists! Fashion tips! Gameshow! Rapid Fire News! Music?

The Charming Adventures of the British National Party

Nicholas John ‘Peter’ Griffin, the head of the extremely objectionable British National Party, appeared on the BBC’s less questionable Question Time program (think a more venerable Q&A with less Tony Jones) this past week, stirring up no small amount of controversy. And he has been criticised from all sides, both by right-minded leftists complaining of his presence on the flagship program, and by members of his own party. The BBC itself has made no apologies for asking Mr. Griffin onto Question Time, and with ratings of over 8 million viewers, perhaps it’s not difficult to see why.

However, in amongst all the controversy and the BNP’s undoubtedly reprehensible policies, there was another debate to be had: to allow Mr. Griffin onto Question Time, or not? That was the question, and it was what the LRC chaps set out to answer.

The Charming Adventures of Pauline Hanson

Moving swiftly from one person with strong views on immigration and multiculturalism to another, and in a reminder of why the much-vaunted ‘Global Financial Crisis’ is not all bad, Mateo, Chris and Casey traipsed down to Target in the wee hours of the afternoon after being tipped off by an anonymous tipster (whose identity will be kept secret) that copies of Pauline Hanson’s 2007 autobiography, Untamed & Unashamed: The Autobiography were on sale for the low, low price of $0.05. That’s five cents. Yes. Down from a recommended retail price of $34.95. How sweet it was – the 3 young men between them bought the remaining 8 copies, partly for ‘the lulz’, and partly to prevent others from buying it.

Never one to miss an opportunity for opportunism (…), Left, Right, and Centre decided to give away copies of the former One Nation leader’s musings (sample chapter title “John Howard congratulates me”… WOW!) to the callers who had the best idea of what to do with it. And after a flood of literally 3 callers (thank you Michael from Norwood, Dom from Brompton, and Ben from Semaphore), we decided to award everyone copies! So they can be used for toilet paper, weaponry, anything. Just think twice about reading the thing.

Rapid Fire News

Enjoyed a glitch-free week (read: we had all the sound effects), so it went off without a hitch, really. Ace!

For sale: hotted-up chair, one driver only

Sicilian prefers prison to house arrest with wife

Man breaks 15 laws in 11 minutes

Bill Clinton’s tale of the night Boris Yeltsin went out for pizza

Man robs shop on way to interrogation: German police

Bank robber who only robbed on Thursdays jailed

Bunny Boiling: Rabbits burnt to fuel city

Man arrested for being naked in his own kitchen

 

Gameshow

Once more, required the 3 contestants to run through an intellectual gauntlet as set up by Casey, like 3 little hamsters, only with sitcoms instead of wheels and cheese. The name of the game, it was claimed, was to come up with an idea for a sitcom. The winner? Whoever made up the sitcom Casey most wanted to watch? The certain loser? Tim.

Chris amused us with his idea of Walter, the extraterrestrial robot who (that?) sets up a dating agency for death row inmates (seems like a wasted effort…). The titular character has to battle against his evil alien master Archibald, all while having some fun and helping hardened criminals find love!! Unfortunately, Walter cannot himself experience emotions, making it a bittersweet experience – or at least the cold, harsh, robot equivalent. The supporting cast of inmates were called Therese, Jonty, Nicholas, and Sarah.

Mateo proposed a sitcom following the wacky exploits of Quentin Crane, the older and much less successful brother of Frasier and Niles Crane. Quentin didn’t appear in any episodes of either Cheers or Frasier, as his domineering mother, who constantly admonished him for his failings, while doting on her two other sons, wouldn’t allow it. Quentin follows the titular character’s drifts up and down the east coast of the United States, trying to support his destructive methamphetamine habit. Hilarity beckons! Tagline: You’ll laugh, but mainly you’ll cry.

Tim didn’t have an idea, and so lost.

Casey ended up awarding the victory to Chris, admitting that while Quentin was a good idea, it wasn’t actually a sitcom, and was thus disqualified.

The Music

Weren’t featured on this week’s program. Instead, we heard:

Little Lion Man, by Mumford & Sons (RadAd feature CD)

Good Weekend, by Art Brut.

Why Can’t We Be Friends, by War

Sold My Soul, by up and coming local band The Honey Pies.

Can’t Steal My Love, by the Wilson Pickers.

That’s all, folks! Until you hear our dulcet tones again,

Sexually yours,

Left, Right, and Centre


Wow, sorry devoted listener. We don’t know what happened. It was all going so smoothly, so nicely, then bad things started happening. Frustrating for all. Perhaps the failure of the show this week can be traced back to earlier in the evening (of the 20th of October), when Tim had his much-publicised coconut incident. Does failure beget failure? Well, there must be some explanation for the standard of this week’s show.

 

All that being said, the abjectness of show #34 did not prevent the Left, Right, and Centre masterminds from still reaching a higher peak than any Student Radio show all year (well, except maybe Gus and Miles – you guys are great). The show consisted of the following:

 

Seriousness!

This week saw the discussion of an issue that has been bubbling in our minds for a little while now and was brought to the fore by the decision by U.K.’s Channel 4 network to screen, in the coming weeks, a series of race-related programs. Following on form this, we discussed an imaginatively titled 1994 book, The Bell Curve. The main assertion of The Bell Curve is that intelligence is a more able social indicator than socio-economic status or education level. Though the science was drawn from the mainstream, it was the conclusions of the authors – that, normally distributed, the IQs of African-Americans are approximately 1 standard deviation or 15 points lower than Caucasian Americans – that lead to sharp criticism, with many labelling it scientific racism.

 

Of course, the reasons for this differ, and it is the ambiguity of the book’s conclusion that has again lead to criticism from its detractors. Are the IQs of African-Americans lower on average than those of Caucasians because of genetic factors, or continuing social displacement and disadvantages? It’s an interesting issue, though a very delicate one.

 

Not so much seriousness! It’s RFN sans Law & Order sound effect!

If forced to choose a moment when the show started going wrong, this would probably be it. The sound was missing and we didn’t seem to have the stomach to right the ship.

 

Woman calls cops over stolen marijuana plants

Man finds rocket launcher while gardening

Boy feared lost on runaway balloon found hiding in parents’ attic

‘Balloon boy’ dad Richard Heene now has box – note: this turned out to be a great big hoax. Shame on you, Heene family!

Bitey 300lb man in dress tries to steal rum and cokeHeH

German police investigate kebab sauce after attack

Car thief was a bear

Black Bear cools off in beer fridge

 

The fun just keeps rolling because it’s Gameshow! Again with technical mishaps!

A bit of an explanation for this week’s Gameshow (because it was kinda complicated, and, at 10 minutes, one of the show’s longer segments) is necessary. Casey gave Chris, Tim and Mateo the brief before a song break to design a sport from scratch. It had to have it all, description of rules, how you win, and so on, so forth. When we came back from the song break, this is what the 3 contestants had [in order of announcement]:

 

Chris:

  • ‘The Big Hunt’
  • Aim: to kill Tim.
  • Prize: Tim’s battered and bloodied corpse.
  • Contestants: approximately 6.5 billion.
  • Extra: bonus points for killing Tim when he is riding an elephant, eating, or sleeping.

 

Tim:

  • ‘Cross country skiing + target shooting’ a.k.a. Biathlon
  • Aim: to ski large distances then shoot at targets. Missed targets result in distance penalty.
  • Contestants: some, I guess. Skiers with trigger fingers.
  • Extra: this is already a sport, so Tim could not win the game. He should have gone with this original idea of baseketball.

 

Mateo:

  • ‘The Human Race’
  • Aim: first one to evolve wins.
  • Prize: life and self-actualisation; the real good shit.
  • Contestants: all of them.
  • Referees: universally derided, weak, useless.
  • Extra: Tim pointed out that individuals are unable to evolve as such. Touché, Tim. 

 

Turns out Casey’s sole criterion was which of the games he would most like to play. And being an avowed wuss pacifist, who abhors violence and death, awarded the victory to Mateo’s noble but sadly flawed game.

 

Stick around for the songs.

Gold Digger by Kanye West, because Mateo ain’t messing.

 

You Are What You Is by the one and only Frank Zappa, telling Tim that it’s ok to be different.

 

North American Scum by LCD Soundsystem because, sentiments aside, Chris has been wanting to play something by LCD Soundsystem for a really long time.

 

The Weeping Song by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, because it was that kind of show.

 

So then, that’s it, innit? Our time is fast coming to an end. But for now, we’re still respectfully yours,

The Left, Right, and Centre holding group.

 


So we did a show and had Tran on.

Playlist:
Kraftwerk – Home Computer
Brand New – Last Chance to Lose Your Keys
New Found Glory – Don’t Let Her Pull You Down
The Hives – Hate to Say I Told You So
Morgoth – White Gallery
Imminent Psychosis – Rigormortis (Live on Radio Adelaide)
In Malices Wake – Eternal Nightfall
Streetlight Manifesto – A Moment of Silence
Intended Victim – Light From A Frozen Grave
Band of Horses – The Funeral
Moth – Revolution
Daft Punk – Something About Us

Gig guide:
COMING UP
Friday, October 30th
Imminent Psychosis, In Malices Wake (Vic), Deafening Silence, Hesitate and Die
Enigma Bar, 8:30, $12, 18+
OVERTHROW ’09: Abandon All Hope, Broken Scarlet, Jack the Giant Killer, Dream on,
Dreamer (Vic), Chelsea Smile (NSW), Daybreak
Fowler’s Live, 7pm, $15, Lic A/A

Saturday, October 31st
HALLOWEEN SLAUGHTER FEST: Jack the Giant Killer, In the Burial, Among the Devoured, The Ophidian Ascension, Orphans of the Sky, Lake Nyos, F.I.T.H., A Dead Silence
Fowler’s Live, 5:30pm, $15, Lic A/A
Fear Before (US), This City Sunrise, Quiet Child, Day on Fire, Secrets in Scale
Unibar, 7pm, A/A, tickets through Moshtix

Tuesday, November 3rd
Arch Enemy (Swe), Suffocation (US), Truth Corroded
Fowler’s Live, ~$80, Lic A/A

Saturday, November 6th
Truth Corroded, Nessun Dorma, Dogs with Bees in their Mouths, A.M.O.C.
Enigma Bar, 9pm, $8, 18+
Gold Kids (Italy), Ghosttown (NSW), Craterface, Jack the Giant Killer
Enigma Bar, 7:30pm, $16, Lic A/A

COMING UP FAR AWAY
November 21st: Obituary (US)
December 9th: Dream Theatre (US)
December 16th: Lamb of God (US), Devildriver (US) and Shadows Fall (US)
December 26th: Summer Rage Fest

So come back next week for another show seeing as we’re running out! And more prizes coming up in our last show ever in a few weeks. Cuz we like to share the love. and music. and signed studio notes. but not colds or flu.

LEWIN AND BRYCE (AND TRAN) SAYING BAI


Bazoogaloo, and figi. Greetings and welcome to a bumper blog entry for Break it Down with Marija Brooke and Joel.

In media break down over the past few weeks, we’ve always relied on that currently insurmountable bastion of Hollywood wackiness, Kanye West. Thus, the Kanye Report.

We’ve discussed the Swifty saga, the Kanye-Gaga tour and its subsequent demise, however last week on the Kanye Report it was all about a odd little arthouse-esque short film Kanye posted on his website Kanyeuniversecity.com. The video was a collaboration with Spike Jonze, whose film Where the Wild Things Are was released recently. Jonze’s affinity for the wild things is on full display in the Kanye short film entitled We Were Once a Fairytale. The video depicts Kanye stumbling around a discotheque in a drunken stupor before getting jiggy with some biach from the club. Kanye then locates the bathroom before slashing open his stomach Holly Mountain style, and pulling out a small rodent, who in turn uses a miniature dagger provided by Kanye to kill itself. Symbolism? Inner-demons? The video was recently pulled from Kanye’s site with an explanatory note stating ‘SORRY I HAD TO TAKE IT DOWN’ 😦 . 😦 indeed.

BDO

Big Day Out tickets have sold out. Last week it was announced that the last available tickets to the Adelaide show had been snapped up. There are still however tickets available for purchase – if you want to fly over to New Zealand for your big day out.

Trioli

Virginia Triloi, who viewers might have seen on ABC favs such as Sunday Arts and Lateline, was caught out recently in a hilariously candid on air moment. After footage was shown of Barnaby Joyce discussing the emission trading scheme, Trioli briefly appeared on the screen gesturing in such a way that implied Joycey boy was crazy. The presenter was seen whirling her finger beside her temple, and rolling her eyes, before swiftly commencing an interview once she realised it was all on air. Media Watch suggested that Trioli was signalling for the story to end to allow for the subsequent live interview. We highly recommend this video for viewing, to propel it toward viral video status.

Saucerboy

For those of you who haven’t heard about the whole flying saucer boy scandal here is the condensed version. Recently the media was fascinated with the story of the Henne family. This average American family, was like any other, except it was constructing a giant flying saucer in its back yard. When the balloon escaped from their yard, they suspected that their son, Falcon was on board. The parents were relieved to “learn” that their son was not aboard the Millennium Falcon and was actually hiding in their garage. Later during a live television interview, Falcon was asked why he didn’t appear from his hiding place after his parents were calling out to him. He responded by effectively explaining that it would have destroyed the elaborate hoax that his parents were constructing, and it was all for a show. The Henne family were thus revealed to have been fraudsters, although the denials continued. Old footage from an episode of Wife Swap, in which the Henne family appears, surfaced. In the program, Mr. and Mrs. Henne explain that they believe they are descended from aliens. Case closed.

Arias

Aria nominations were released. ACDC scooped four nominations for their new album ‘Black Ice’ and Jessica Mauboy lead the pack with a whopping seven nominations, Other nominees include Empire of The Sun, Eskimo Joe, Ladyhawke, Hilltop Hoods, Lisa Mitchell, Kate Miller-Heidke, and Sarah Blasko. Ladyhawke’s appearance has been cast into doubt, as it has been highlighted that she has not resided in Australia for the past year during the nomination period, and thus falls short of the technical requirements of Aria eligibility. The Arias are being held on November 27 in Sydney.

Parklife 2009

Parklife 2009 hit Adelaide recently with Mstrkrft, Little Boots, Bertie Blackman, Metric, The Rapture, and Empire of the Sun making appearances. As is tradition, there was more fluro than a hollering of construction workers building an unnecessarily oversized set of highlighters. Glow sticks were flying. So anticipated were the performers, people impatiently pissed behind and off of, but not actually in portable toilets. This year the general trend toward dance rock was reflected in the line-up with bands such as The Rapture and Metric. The Rapture played an amazing set, and I must say they were my favourite act of the day. The big disappointment was of course La Roux, and their last minute cancellation. Scattered around the venue were flimsy A4 signs informing revellers that La Roux wasn’t to perform due to lead singer Eleanor Jackson’s tonsillitis. I, like many was devo to hear this, but everyone just flocked to Mstrkrft. I hope Eleanor gets well soon, and is able to hurry back to Adelaide and play a show.

Greg Norman

Greg Norman announced that he and his wife of 165 months are separating. An announcement on their divorce is still pending :(. Ahead of the golf tour the shark has refused to comment on the proceedings :(.

Ranngate

Adelaide is buzzing with the latest political scandal novelty that might possibly assume the name of Ranngate. The premier was at a function at a the wine centre when a patron of another function area entered the hall, brandishing a rolled-up magazine yelling that the premier ruined his wife’s life and then proceeded to bash him over the hear with said magazine. Some other guests at the $600 per head dinner forced the man into a headlock and held him on the floor until the police arrived. It has recently been revealed that some sort of relationship between Mike Rann and the man’s ex-wife did exist. We feel the deets will soon leak out thus warranting the Ranngate moniker.

“Poo” Magazine

Zoo magazine has released their 4th annual most hated list. Topping the list….Kyle Sandilands. Followed by Jacki O. Kyle and Jacki beat out the likes of Austrian dungeon rapist dad Josef Fritzl, opposition leader Malcolm Turnbull, new Aus Idol judge JD Springbett and… Kanye West. Rounding out the 50 was Dean Robbins, the man responsible for unleashing the wildly unpopular iSnack 2.0 name for identity crisis vegemite (we do feel though that one can really blame that guy for the stupidity of the entire marketing department at Kraft). Also featuring on the list were “Mexicans” (feels a little bit racist), Lady Gaga, and a female tennis player who had a breast reduction….how dare she!

One or the other yo.

In one or the other, we’ve been covering all the good shit – dictatorships vs democracies, sexual preferences, humorous locomotive incidents, ingesting metallic objects. Be sure to tune in next Wednesday night 11-12 to hear us discussing ridiculous hypothetical scenarios and their tangents.

Playlist for Last Wednesday

Talk Like That – The Presets
Go with the Flow – Queens of the Stoneage
Aisles of White – The Butterfly effect
No You Girls – Franz Ferdinand
Gotta Get Through This – Daniel Bettingfield

Some other tracks heard recently on the show

Fader – The Temper Trap
Ghosts Deadmau5
The Mixed Tape – Jack’s Mannequin
Dice – Finley Quaye and William Orbit
I’m Good, I’m Gone – Lykke Li
Dead End – Whitest Boy Alive
Heartbreaker – Metronomy
Gifted – NASA feat. Kanye West, Santagold, and Lykke Li
PAtins – CSS
Debbie – Architecture in Helsinki
Daniel – Bat for Lashes